How Your Relationship Impacts Your Children

Whether we like it or not, children are always observing us. When it comes to their parents—or parent figures—they notice and take in everything, every smile, every laugh, every eye-roll, and every criticism.

No matter how much parents want to hide their relationship problems, children can recognize the signs of an unhappy and unhealthy relationship. The emotional environment they are surrounded by, impacts their physical, mental, and emotional health. Knowing that something is wrong often leads to feelings of anxiety, sadness, anger, and insecurity. Not knowing how to express these emotions, they often lose interest in activities they enjoy, get in fights, or seek affection and attention from a parent. Unfortunately, parents usually punish these behaviors, and the children's emotions are left unmet.

Children often do not understand why their parents argue, and they usually blame themselves. The amount of pressure children face to save the relationship can lead to depression or high-stress levels. Likewise, parents sometimes bring the child into the middle of arguments—leaving them to pick sides and forcing them to participate. This triangulation results from parents wanting their emotional needs met but unintentionally increasing the child's stress.

Modeling healthy communication and friendship in a relationship is essential. When parents are happy, and in a healthy relationship, they allow their children to feel safe and secure. Children can trust that their parents will attune to their emotions. Couples/marriage therapy can help you and your partner rebuild the foundation of your relationship and improve your communication, trust, friendship, and conflict resolution. These skills are crucial in modeling healthy relationships that will help children thrive.

Wishing your family lots of happiness,

Karishma Patel, AMFT